the Adventures of Lonic: a gay rhythm game fan fic - Part 5
Hey Everyone. It's me, Lyle. I find it quite hard to beleive that is had been 12 years since the last Lonic chapter was written.
Without further ado, Lonic Part 5 starts now!
Lonic lived in a light yellow house at 1001 Birch Street on the corner of Birch Street and Yoliazo Road.
A tree, a flat tire, melting the sun (again), and other HOA violations.
One day in June, Lonic decided to plant a tree in his front yard. It was a scorpion tree, that grew scorpions. Lonic like the way the leaves smelled and the possibility that the scorpions would kill everyone in the neighborhood.
After planting the tree, he kicked back by his pool with a gin and bleach.
The next day, Lonic found a letter on his door from the HOA. Turns out the tree had been planted .047 picometers too close to the road. He stormed down to oooaaqo's house and encountered him outside. Lonic, “That tree isn't too close to the road.” Oooaaqo, “It's too close, move it. Also, a $1 billion fine” Lonic realized he was powerless against the HOA and went home to move the tree....
That same day, eeii got a letter because his car had a flat tire, and this wasn't acceptable. Eeii didn't even need a car, he just like Yugos and bought one to fit in. He knew that talking to oooaaqo was worthless, so he tried the next option. That was to eat the HOA charter when it was made using his special powers to be able to eat anything in time and space..... However, the HOA charter was somehow protected from his power.... So he did the third best thing: eat the Mayans and prevent them from undestorying the world....
Lonic was not really wanting to move his tree and didn't have the money to pay his fine.... and if he didn't he'd be executed by midnight....
Yodel Lonic was out in space practicing destroying destroying stars, including our sun, with his fax style sound waves, when he got a call from Lonic. Lonic asked him to find his golden moon and make it crash into oooaqo. Yodel lonic said he would if Lonic paid back the $3 he owed him.... AND..... bought him 3 girls at next week's slave trade auction at the park down the street. Lonic agreed.
Meanwhile, I (Lyle, the author of Lonic, remember) got a notice that I wasn't allowed to hold people who belonged to the HOA as captives in my basement. I replied via letter that Ronic is, in fact, not a person. We'll have to wait to see how the appeal process turns out.
Yodel lonic flies over to Lonic's golden moon and kicks it, sending to tumbling towards oooaaqo's house. Right before it crashes into oooaaqo's house, eeii eats all of the Mayans, changing the timeline so that the world never got undestoryed after the yyuuuakoo and yodel lonic battle.
But, that didn't stop existence from unexisting and the golden moon crashed into oooaaqo's house. The impact move the street in front of Lonic's house ½ a picometer and his tree was no longer in violation. The gold also was more than enough to cover his fine.
Eeii's flat tire was also fixed as it was those sneaky Mayans who came by the night before and made his tire flat... but since they were eaten, his tire was no longer flat.
To be continued....
The HOA rejected my appeal that holding Ronic captive in my basement was acceptable because she didn't count as a person. Something about her being descended from humans. At this point, the HOA gave me 90 days to release her.
I kind of forgot about it and it lead to the silliest confrontation ever.
I, Lyle (the author of Lonic), was sitting in my living room playing some adult games on my 3DO when there was a knock on my door. It was oooaaqo, he informed me that my time to release Ronic had past. I told him that I'd do it soon and closed the door.
The next day, there was another knock at the door. It was the local SWAT team and everyone from the HOA. Probably not good news....
Over a megaphone, Lonic shouted: “ Lyle come out with your hands up and be executed or we will storm the house and execute you.”
Thinking that I might be executed soon, I took to my computer and send an email to *@*.* ro literally everyone in the world. It read:
Dear (your name here)
I am likely to die in the next 10 minutes. I have bu tone regret. My greatest work of art, “Lonic: Required to move swiftly” remains unfinished.
If possible, please take up the story and complete it.
I have attached all of the information you'll need.
Lyle, the author of Lonic parts 1-5.
Just then the door bursts open and I, Lyle, am hit with 700 rounds of ammo, flames hotter than hell itself, the piecing sound of fax machine data, and a spin attack from Lonic. I am now dead. Someday, someone will once again revive the greatest fanfic ever.
Lonic recuse Ronic from my basement. They also found my luck wishing coin in the basement... I was wondering where that went. With it, oooaaqo wished for the HOA arc to end....
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