the Adventures of Lonic: a gay rhythm game fan fic - Part 2









so, when we last left Lonic, all quadrillion dollars of his gold had crashed into the Earth, killing 3.1 billion people.
[10:23 PM]
the impact was so strong that it woke some dinosaurs that had been sleeping for millions of years AND it infused the dinosaurs with gold.... they because Gold Dinosaur Robots
and they have psychic powers. They took much of lonic's gold and began buying real estate
[10:30 PM]
Lonic didn't know about this because he was deep in the mountains completing his intro level samurai training
[10:35 PM]

There's uiiiyooi. A golden brontosaurus robot who has the psychic ability to create really good marketing campaigns.
And oooaaqo, who is an unknown flying type dinosaur, he can travel through time.
And eeii, a small and cute dinosaur that can eat anything located anywhere in time and space.

One day during his training, Lonic finds a sword and becomes a grandmaster samurai. Having mastered the highest level of samurai training, Lonic returns to New York City to find that the golden dinosaur robots now own 90% of the city and have set up the largest rhythm game tournament in history.
And the winner gets to become god. Can Lonic use his new found samurai powers to win the tournament and become god?
Lonic arrives at the biggest rhythm game tournament in history, where the winner becomes god.
[10:49 PM]
Lonic arrives there and enters the tournament.(edited)
[10:50 PM]
There are 4 total entries, Lonic and the 3 golden dinosaur robots.
[10:50 PM]
In the first round, lonic has to battle oooaaqo.
[10:53 PM]
The announcer says that the first round, player will be playing Donkey Konga by Nintendo. Lonic is allergic to nintendo and falls over, foaming at the mouth.
[10:53 PM]
oooaaqo got a C-, but Lonic didn't hit a single note and only recovered after the round was over. Lonic had lost.
[10:55 PM]
oooaaqo went on to win the tournament becoming the first golden robot dinosaur ever to become god.
So, I bet you're been wondering about Lonic. Well, the newest, most poorly written chapter is here.

[11:09 PM]
After losing the most important rhythm game tournament ever, Lonic returned home to find a note from Lugo saying, "Don't look for me.". He was gone.
[11:11 PM]
So, Lonic decided to check out the Loser's Club (a club entirely for the big losers ever) located at 400 9th 32nd Street.
[11:14 PM]
Outside the club, Lonic saw something in the dumpster. It was some sort of cat looking thing.
[11:19 PM]
It was ichihime. She'd been tossed out the window of the Loser's Club for losing too much. Lonic gave her a cookie and they were instantly bonded, like the cheap thing she is.

[11:19 PM]
She then told Lonic she was actually a guy and Lonic knew he was in love.
It's probably time for a new lonic chapter
[8:39 PM]
Last time, Lonic found ichihime in a dumpster outside of the loser's club. He found out that ichihime is really a boy and fell in love with him.
[8:40 PM]
So Lonic and ichihime started dating and every Friday night they'd go to the loser's club to lose at mahjong.
[8:42 PM]
One Friday night, however, they ran into trouble as they encounter oooaaqo in the streets on the way home.

[8:44 PM]
Oooaaqo told Lonic that he needed ichihime as a sacrifice and then he would use his golden robot god dinosaur power to ban "all simples" from the universe forever
[8:46 PM]
But Lonic had already been corrupted by ichihime and needed the power of "all simples" to live
[8:51 PM]
Oooaaqo challenged Lonic to an East/South game of mahjong with ichihime at stake.
[8:58 PM]
Lonic started the game as east. In turn 1, he pon'd 8of bamboo. In turn 2, he chi'd 3 of circles for a 345. All simples was looking likely. But on turn 4, oooaaqo riichi'd and Lonic immediately discarded into his hand. Riichi, ippatsu, tsumo, full flush, all triples, 3 concealed triples, 3 dora, 3 ura dora.

Lonic had challenged a golden dinosaur robot god and lost
So... I bet... You've been wondering...

[4:50 PM]
"what's going on with Lonic these days"
When we last left Lonic, he had just lost the mahjong match in east 1 vs oooaaqo with ichihime at stake.
[4:57 PM]
With nowhere else to turn, Lonic created the website character poll in hopes of saving ichihime via pure popularity
[5:00 PM]
And now, the results!
[5:00 PM]
In 5th place with 32 votes, Lonic....
[5:00 PM]
And Lonic was immediately screwed...
[5:01 PM]
In 4th place with 33 votes, YodelLonic...
[5:02 PM]
Lonic wonders who the hell YodelLonic even is....
[5:05 PM]
In 3rd place with 38 votes, Rico...
[5:05 PM]
Lonic is pretty pissed at this point....
[5:06 PM]
Even if Rico may or may not have been part of a holographic problem...(edited)
[5:07 PM]
In 2nd place with 680 votes, Lugo...
[5:08 PM]
And in 1st place.....
With 936,471 votes
Oooaaqo

Not only had ichihime received just 1 vote (less than other guest character such as Ronald Reagan and Sonic '06), but Lonic himself was less popular than 2 characters who appear just once.
Given his greater than ever power, oooaaqo determines that he is now the main character and that Lonic will now be the villain
[5:18 PM]
Beginning with last chapter
[5:20 PM]
In the great mahjong match, oooaaqo easily defeat the evil Lonic in East 1 and saved ichihime from being a loser for life.
[5:21 PM]
After banishing Lonic to the dumpster, oooaaqo took ichihime to the site of the ritual he had prepared.
[5:23 PM]
Ichihime was scared, but oooaaqo calmed her fears with a detailed explanation of the ritual and it's effects. He also outlined that changes that would become her. She smiled and agreed.
[5:24 PM]
Oooaaqo completed the ritual in the exact time estimated of 17 min and 22.672 sec
[5:25 PM]
All simples had now been removed from the world.
Ichihime was not longer a cat thing, but was now a 100% real girl named Yakuhime. She also was released from her terrible curse of saying "-nyan" after everything
[5:28 PM]
Now she was free to become happy and successful instead of a joke
[5:29 PM]
She went to the dumpster to kill Lonic, but a wild raccoon had already carried him away.....
We finally get to Lonic's transformation today, so be excited
[5:43 PM]
After having lost to oooaaqo in mahjong and the bahamutforever.net character popularity poll and having watched ichihime be turned into the much more normal Yakuhime, Lonic was sad.
[5:44 PM]
Lonic went back to his empty apartment. No one loved him anymore. He decided to leave new York behind and wonder the world aimlessly for the rest of his days.
[5:46 PM]
While he was packing his stuff, he found a laptop. It wasn't his, but he turned it on. Immediately, it asked for a password....
[5:47 PM]
He didn't know the password and the laptop said there was 1 attempt left and that any more incorrect tries would cause it to melt
[5:48 PM]
He thought hard.... And then he remembered that his daughter COVonic had told him the password just before she died back on the golden moon. N
[5:50 PM]
Confidently, Lonic entered the password, Password123
[5:51 PM]
The laptop started up. On the laptop, Lonic found 400GB of furry hentai and a file call, the_secerts_of_lonic.exe
[5:55 PM]
Lonic immediately clicked on the file many times, starting the program many times. The first popup box said to "connect Lonic to the pc.", So Lonic used his lonic-to-usb adaptor and the program continued.
[5:56 PM]
Over the next 3 days, the program updated Lonic many times and generated a number of errors because so many copies were running...
Lonic was finally ready to take on oooaaqo. He stalked oooaaqo and Yakuhime to the high end mahjong parlour at the end of town. Finally oooaaqo told Lonic to show himself already.
[6:03 PM]
Oooaaqo started breathing molten gold at Lonic, but Lonic was now faster than ever... Moving 2.1 times the speed of time.
[6:07 PM]
Lonic finally attacks and knock oooaaqo to the ground. Oooaaqo stands and says that he'll never beat Lonic in his dinosaur form. Oooaaqo transforms into a hot, Polynesian man. While Lonic is distracted, oooaaqo punches him into the ground with enough force to shatter time/space itself.
[6:09 PM]
Lonic barely stands and says it is time! Lonic begins to glow as his body start to change shape.
[6:10 PM]
Lonic has changed into a
[6:10 PM]
Firetruck
And says his new catch phase "it's time to hose you down!"
[6:13 PM]
Oooaaqo, still in human form, takes a second to admire the transformation. He then runs over to Lonic, opens his driver's door and drives Lonic of the pier into the river, jumping out as Lonic is midair. Lonic then sinks to the bottom of the river as he is unable to move or change out of firetruck mode.
It's time for the exciting conclusion of Lonic
[7:27 PM]
Lonic spent a year as a firetruck at the bottom of the river before he was able to change back.
[7:29 PM]
By then oooaaqo had solved all the world's problems and had even revived the 3 billion plus people Lonic had killed with the golden moon.
[7:30 PM]
Since there were no more problems, Lonic retired to a small cabin near a swamp.
[7:31 PM]
The End
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